Merajuk

Today morning, before going work I prepared oat drink for mama and abah. Actually I just bought it yesterday. Its pure oats combine with brown rice. It so good guys. Ermm how do I know its good? ha sebab dia brand Kordel and I trust Kordel so much. haha...I like their range of product. Eh range ke. I only use one of their product sampai skarang. Sorry bukan range. Satu je. But I use that product until now since two years ago dah.

Ok now its not about  product. Its about my mom. My mama is so sensitive recently. Emotionally sensitive and physically sensitive. Emotionally aspect, perubahan mama sangatlah ketara. Cepat marah, cepat tak sabar, i mean tak boleh tunggu-tunggu and sangat lah sensitive. Physically aspect, I rasa semua orang meningkat tua alami. Sakit lutut, kulit muka kusam dan mudah dapat flu or cough. Kan kan?

So back to today morning story, I buatkan oat drink tu for me first. Than dah siap i tuang la air tu dlm bekas lain. I do next portion for my dad. We only have one shaker. Yes the drink that u add the powder and water than shake them. Bila ayh I sampai dapur dia terus minum pakai shaker tu. I pun masa tu tgh minum oat drink tu. Then my mama masuk dapur. Tanya "mana air mama". I said "kejap tak buat lagi. Abh tak ada bekas." Mak I ckp terus tak nak minum. I was like seriously maaa..

Tapi I buat je juga. Lepas tu i tinggal atas meja makan lepas tu bersiap pakai tudung masuk bilik. Lepas tu tengok mama tak minum- minum jugak. I panggil mama tanya kenapa tak minum-minum. Mama ambil oat drink tu letak dalam frezeer je. Mama tak minum sampai ke sudah. Dan kami pun pergi kerja macam biasa.

Untuk meleraikan rasa tak puas hati I, I tanya lagi dalam kereta. Mama kenapa tak minum. Mama cakap "macam tak ada bekas lain je ke dalam rumah tu". Dalam hati I cakap "IM SO BAD DAUGHTER". Saya memang tak pandai pujuk orang. im so not talented to do it. Sy pandai merajuk je. Sorry mama. Im really not meant it.

"I will do better next time mama. I am so sorry for today morning. "

Stingy

Someone in my circle is stingy. In my opinion, she is so stingy to the point I hate her so much and very annoying (sabar jela).  She like to eat my "bekal" instead of eating her. Bukan. Bukan saya tak suka share. Tapi sharing should be sama rata kan. When my turn to eat her food? I selalu rasa dia ambil lebih utk kepentingan dia. Dia tak fikir org lain ke (i maksudnya), bila dia mkn my food?

Kadang- kadang kita offer orang lain makanan as a manner kan? Orang boleh faham la kan. Setiap kali saya beli makanan, setiap kali tula sy offer dia, dan setiap kali tu la dia ambil tanpa segan silu. Dia tak segan ke? Patutnya sometimes, bila orang offer, kita pun kena lah pandai menolak kan. Sebab kita pun dah selalu ambil makanan org tu. (kena pandai-pandai fikir keadaan)

Then, adalah pada suatu hari, she said something to me. Dia rasa lebih rapat dari saya compare to ada la seorang kawan kita orang ni juga. Padahal dia kenal org tu dulu dari saya. The reason is sebab kita (saya dan dia) selalu share bekal/ makanan. So dapat eratkan kasih sayang

She added, Rasulullah SAW, pernah cakap, makanan utk seorang cukup untuk berdua, makan utk dua org cukup utk berempat dan makanan utk 3 cukup untuk berenam. Masa dia cerita tu, ada lah rasa tersentuh dan terkesan sikit-sikit.(I siap sokong apa dia ckp)

Tapi ...masa nak praktis, masa nak shares tu, I rasa geram dan marah juga. Maybe saya tak cukup ikhlas. Or memang saya tak ikhlas langsung.

And paling scary, bila fikir-fikir balik, Sy yang kedekut sebenarnya. Sebab tak boleh shares makanan dengan orang lain.

Guys, dont calculate what you give to others. Apa yang kita bagi, sedekahkan, itulah bahagian kita sebenarnya (hereafter)

p/s; Kadang- kadang I terfikir dia sebenarnya boleh, mampu je beli semua tu. makanan ke apa ke. tapi sebab dia kedekut dan sayang sgt duit dia, tapi dia nak rasa, dia makan lah org punya(hishh, yaaa im judging here).

Dont be negative. We cant change them. But we can change our way to deal with them. Kan kan?

Words that not mean to them.

Words that not mean to them.

Situation 1(It happen today by the way)

Im asking my friends whether she put these certain file in my box. Instead of answer yes or no, she answered not remember, maybe someone else put it there and even nak tolong carikan file tu. I bukan ckp file tu hilang. Sy hanya tanya dia ada letak or tak. Dari jawapan dia sy tahu dia tak faham soalan. Erghhhh…

Situation 2

When we know something and wanted to be share. Contohnya kita dengar ceramah dari ustaz kat surau, some information from own reading, discussion dari study circle ke. Kita pun nak share. Tapi org tu tak faham yg kita ckp. Atau org tu mcm tak berminat nak dengar or tahu.

Situation 3

Bila kita tegur seseorang dan dia tidak dapat terima teguran kita tu. Kita tegur adik kita, kawan kita or colleague kita for better kan, tapi diorang tak terima. Kita jadi sedih or worst kita jadi geram. Boleh jadi kita dah berkali- kali pun bagi tahu org tu, tapi same tetap sama.

Lessons

First,kena describe whole situation dulu, sebelum tanya soalan pada org( erghh malasnyaaa…). Jgn expect org blh faham apa kita tanya without know whole story kan. Second, Baca dulu msg tu or dengar dulu org tu ckp apa. Baru jawab. Third, kita sendiri kena yakin dengan apa yang kita nak cakap, then baru boleh fahamkan org lain kan. Kita kena firm. Last but very important, doa pada Allah. Allah yang pegang hati manusia. If dia tak boleh terima teguran kita, maybe kita tak cukup ikhlas tegur dia. Doa pada Allah supaya dia dpt terima nasihat dan berubah.

Young

When we young, we can do anything. We are fearless, full of energy and creative. Waktu muda nilah kita boleh buat apa saja. Selagi tak melanggar hukum tuhan, we are free to do anythings kan. I have alot of dream to be achieve although im around half time to end my twenty era. huhu..

I come across to people that has been far away than me. Their achievements sgt membanggakan dan memberi inspirasi. I admit that i feel jealous with their life. Their career life, social life, married life or even their single life seem so happy and wonderful to me.

But one thing im sure about them. They have done something. We never know what hard work they have go through. There should be kegigihan, kesusahan, wang, tenaga or even masa yg all the successful people have done for them to be able in that state now. 

Semoga semangat kemudaan dlm diri aku ni tak hilang. Semoga aku terus rajin dan berusaha. Semoga aku terus berani dan positive. Owh man.. i have long way to go.

Selfishness

Its human nature to become selfish. We will consider our own circumstances before others. We will culculate our benefits before calculate others. I came across to the selfishness of human being recently.

My department is now doing reshuffling of work and all members job scope. Since one of our biggest client has ended thier contract with us. HUUU.... Im so new here. Im the junior one here.  U know the one that so new at here that people keep doubting about my ability to doing job. People keep curious and caution around me. Yahh i know. They need time to accept me. To trust me kan..

Due to the reconstruction of job responsibility, everyone keep pushing thier work to others. There is people that do not want to cater their current client. There is people that said their salary is not worth thier current job. There is people that request for salary increment (that me! hehe).

Anddd there is one of my colleague which is my close friends here that want me to do his job. And i was like soo shock. Because i believe she has least work as compared to me. Based on my observation she has more free time i think. huuu.. so i assume everyone is selfish.

No matter how kind u are. How close u are with that person. How good u are with that person. There will be little amount of selfishness in themselves. When it come u or other person, u will consider yourself first. I not talking about others or her, Im talking about me. Because when this circumstances come to me, I think I will do same thing.